I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
