Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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