so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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