I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
