I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
