Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
