oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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