So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
