I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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