You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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