I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ok first of all what the fuck
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
