I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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