Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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