trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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