then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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