You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They took my balls.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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