so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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