I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
