he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
