i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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