Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
