never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
