Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
