Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
smell my finger.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
