K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
foreskin is a definite game changer
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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