Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
