you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
