So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
