whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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