Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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