You surviving the open bar?
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just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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