with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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