ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
