I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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