I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
