I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
