you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
