I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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