I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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