My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
