she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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