ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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