This girl is more easily done than said...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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