I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
