You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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