Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
