You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
