Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
