I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm at about main and main street
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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