More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There r osticjed everywhere
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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