she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
