What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
