I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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