Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
